Reptilian members of the Peruvian government are trembling in their shiny boots as news of David Icke’s return filters through the matrix. Yep, the self-proclaimed “most controversial speaker in the world” is coming back to Peru in April 2012.
Who is David Icke?
If you’ve never heard of David Icke, you really are missing a treat. Here’s a quick timeline for all you sheltered people out there:
- born 29 April, 1952, in Leicester, England
- at age 15, Icke signed a professional contract as a goalkeeper for Coventry City
- at 21, he was forced to retire from football due to arthritis
- in 1973, he began a successful career as a sports journalist, working his way up through the ranks of the BBC and eventually co-presenting popular sports shows such as Grandstand
- he moved away from TV in the 1980s, becoming more involved with the Green Party, alternative medicines and strange forces
- in 1990, a psychic healer told him that he had been sent to heal the Earth (among other things, all of which he apparently believed)
- in 1991, Icke visited the pre-Inca burial ground of Sillustani near Puno, Peru, where a mound of earth beckoned to him. Standing atop the mound, he began to vibrate and fill with energy. That mound has a lot to answer for.
- Icke returned to the UK where he wrote Truth Vibrations, started to wear only turquoise and publicly announced that he had become a “channel for the Christ spirit.” Fair enough.
- following a disastrous Terry Wogan chat show appearance, in which Icke predicted earthquakes and tidal waves and basically claimed to be the son of God, Icke’s reputation took a bit of a nosedive
- Icke then began writing books and presenting ideas about all kinds of weird stuff: the Babylonian Brotherhood, shape shifting reptilians from the Draco constellation living inside the earth (in The Biggest Secret), fascist Nordic aliens (in Children of the Matrix) and similar global conspiracies
That’s the short version, anyway.
Back on Track: Icke in Peru
David Icke will be returning to Peru for a 12-day “sacred journey” during April and May (I think it all begins on April 22). For anyone interested in potential Icke-spotting opportunities — or if you’re trying to plan a similar trip — here’s the day-by-day schedule:
- Day One: Cusco — time to acclimatize to the altitude
- Day Two: Sacred Valley and Ollantaytambo — a trip to Pisaq and the chance to “discover the dimension of the ancient technology of the Andean masters” (what?)
- Day Three: Aguas Calientes — time for a dip in the hot springs
- Day Four: Machu Picchu — after a yoga session, Icke and his posse will be exploring “the main power spots and archeo-astrological alignments” of the “Sacred Crystal City.”
- Day Five: Back to Machu Picchu — round two at Machu Picchu starts at sunrise; Icke and co will then talk to the apu mountain spirits to “create a huge tube of light to illuminate the souls of everyone in order to make the changes for peace in the world.” Groovy.
- Day Six: Inka Altars — visiting Tambo Machay, Amaru Machay, Q’enqo and Saqsaywaman, all of which apparently have “several powerful energy vortexes.”
- Day Seven: Cusco to Puno — a bus trip during which passengers “may notice the energy shift as [they] have now entered the source of the ancient energy of the Andeans Masters.” They’ll definitely feel some serious energy shifts if they don’t choose a good bus company.
- Day Eight: Sillustani — a return to the magical mound where it all began. The group will start the morning with “lotus breath” (there should be a kid selling gum somewhere nearby). This day (April 29) is also David’s birthday. Happy birthday, David!
- Day Nine: Pre-Inka Altars (Ajayu Marka & Tiwanaku) — a short hop across Lake Titicaca to Bolivia and the important pre-Inca archaeological site of Tiwanaku (Tiahuanaco). According to the Icke schedule, “Some researchers believe Tiwanaku to be more than 17,000 years old, and believe the site to be the work of an extremely advanced civilization” (don’t do it, Dave, don’t mention aliens, not now, you were doing so well).
- Day Ten: Amantani — the group with be bedding in on Amantani Island, among the native Quechua-speaking community. After making an offering to Pachamama, there will be “a very special sound ceremony with Liz” (the tour co-coordinator).
- Day Eleven: Temples of Light (Puno) — a trek up the temple peaks of Pachatata (Father Earth) and Pachamama (Mother Earth) on Amantani. Afterwards, Icke heads back to Puno with a stop at the Uros Islands (the Floating Islands of Lake Titicaca).
- Day Twelve: Kutimbo (Temple of Fertility) — the final day includes a trip to the chullpas (burial towers) at Cutimbo. Then it’s back to Puno by boat for some more meditation before a farewell meal.
It’s a pretty solid 12-day schedule, and one that backpackers could follow reasonably easily. All the yoga, meditation, energy vortexes and stuff is a bit of a drag (I’d rather be probed by a Nordic alien), but you can easily ditch all that.
Despite the flippant, cynical and highly sceptical tone of all the above, I wish David and his group all the best during their trip to Peru. The world would be a much duller place without the likes of Icke.
By the way, if anyone manages to photograph Icke in Peru, send me a photo or upload it to the HowtoPeru Facebook page — just for fun. If you can capture an authentic vortex or a giant tube of light, that would be even better. Cheers.